Dear Haya,
I really struggle with confidence and motivation in my life, especially because of all the social media use. I have always been a very enthusiastic person but lately I have become extremely frustrated and disinterested in both my personal and professional life.
During my teenage years as a young man, I was full of dreams and ambitions about all the things I wanted to achieve in my life, but all of that is gone because I don’t feel like it anymore. That I will be able to achieve something. I’m in my mid-20s and nowhere near where I want to be in terms of my marketing career.
I feel so overwhelmed by everything and there is so much competition that I don’t feel good enough to excel in my industry. I seem to have lost all the creativity and spark I once thought I had when I was new to my professional life. The consumption of social media has really ruined it for me, because there are people who are doing great things and I am left behind in the race.
How do I regain my confidence and motivation in these really competitive times?
— A desperate man
Dear Desperate Man,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It sounds like you’re suffering from a deep sense of discouragement and self-doubt, questioning your self-esteem, especially when you compare both your aspirations and the success you see on social media. where are you with It can feel overwhelming.
It is possible to rediscover your confidence and inspire yourself.
Let’s take a look at how we can explore it further.
I’ve heard you say that you were full of dreams and ambitions, but you no longer feel like you can achieve anything. Anon, what makes you feel that way? I’ll get curious about what’s going on inside. What you express reflects your relationship with yourself. What do you really believe about yourself when you compare yourself to others? What made you disinterested? What changed? What I am telling you is that social media is stimulating your self-esteem and your relationship with yourself. Our motivators are our teachers, and they show us what needs healing within.
However, our lives reflect the way we feel about ourselves and our belief systems. These experiences and feelings are inviting you to be curious and build relationships with yourself. Your thoughts and beliefs create your reality, and when you believe you can’t achieve something, you don’t. will be able to
However, it can feel deeply disappointing when life doesn’t live up to the expectations we set for ourselves by a certain age or when we lose sight of the goals we envisioned. It’s a simple fact of life – things don’t always turn out as planned. Life is a combination of highs and lows, and what really matters is how we respond to these changes in our timeline. I encourage you to allow yourself to acknowledge and process feelings of frustration, anger, frustration, or sadness that may arise.
I admire your level of self-awareness, where you are aware of the fact that social media is holding you back. Anon, here I would like to point out that social media is an illusion. It’s designed to show you the best highlights, the “good side”. No one shows you their struggles, failures, or how they really feel inside. Getting caught up in the social media cycle is all too natural, and at the same time it exacerbates existing feelings of inadequacy. Again, I would encourage you to explore these feelings and beliefs further.
Further, I would like to see all the things we can do.
First, I would take this as an opportunity to re-audit your life. One of the key ingredients to strengthening, strengthening, and deepening our relationship with ourselves and our lives is to take an honest inventory of where we are in our lives and ask ourselves if we are living that life. What we want to live.
Are you following the path you wanted 10 years ago? Do you still want it? If yes, great — reconnect with your why. If not, even better, because clarity is your best friend!
Man is not a static being. We are constantly changing, growing and adapting. Maybe the path you took 10 years ago involved a different set of values. You may have learned a lot about yourself since you made the decisions that set you on your path. Give yourself some grace, meet yourself where you are today, and explore the ways you have changed. What areas of your life do you need to play catch-up to meet the current situation? What are your core values and aspirations? Reconnect with your deepest purpose.
The truth is, sometimes we don’t know what we want anymore because we haven’t allowed ourselves to desire or create big goals. We get so caught up in how we’re going to get there that we lose sight of the real goal. So, write down what you want and why you want it.
Secondly, you ask how to gain confidence and motivation in these really competitive times. By building a strong, secure and trusting relationship with yourself. By being really honest with yourself. The day you decide to give up is the day you quit. Perhaps the creative spark you once felt may feel lost, but instead of being extinguished, it may be buried beneath exhaustion, doubt, or an inner fear of failure. It can signal a disconnection from your authentic self – perhaps the pressures of life have overwhelmed the parts of you that feel alive and inspired.
Third, I would encourage you to detox from social media for a while. When something isn’t adding positive value to our lives and making us feel a certain way, we need to listen. Reducing screen time will create mental space for your own thoughts. Your creativity is not over. Awaiting his upbringing. What will spark your creativity? You will need to find it. Engage in exercises that spark innovation, such as brainstorming, experimenting with new tools, or working on an ambitious project without worrying about perfection.
Fourth, upskill yourself. Once you know what you want to do, hone your skill set. Stay updated on industry trends without overwhelming yourself. Invest in a course, mentorship, or collaboration that refreshes your knowledge and connects you with supportive peers.
Fifth, and most importantly, self-compassion. Give yourself grace and compassion as you reorganize and re-audit your life. You can’t force yourself to change, but you can push yourself toward it by taking small baby steps that support your mental health and well-being.
Remember, in this age of social media, it’s easy to get bogged down in intuitions, what-ifs, cans and wills. We feel like the grass is greener on the other side, but in reality, the grass is greener where you water it. What you focus on is flow.
The only person you need to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday, a year ago, five years ago, etc.
And it’s normal to feel stuck sometimes. Remember that your ambitions and creativity are still within you – they’re just waiting to be rekindled. By combining self-reflection, working on your relationship with yourself, intentional action, and self-compassion, you can rediscover your sense of purpose and begin to forge a path forward at your own pace.
I really hope this helps.
Hiya
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate wellness strategist and trainer specializing in creating organizational cultures that focus on wellness and mental health awareness. produce
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