Wilma LarsonSweden has a global reputation for pushing gender equality, so why are young women embracing this social media trend that celebrates quitting work?
Wilma Larsen, 25, previously had jobs at a grocery store, a care home and a factory. But she quit working to become a stay-at-home girlfriend a year ago, and says she’s never been happier.
“My life is soft. I’m not struggling. I’m not stressed.”
Her boyfriend works remotely in finance, and while he spends his days on his laptop, she’s at the gym, out for coffee or cooking. The couple grew up in small towns in central Sweden, but now travel a lot, and spend the winters in Cyprus.
“Every month he pays me with his own money. But if I need more, I’ll ask him. Or if I need less, I don’t – I just save the rest,” Ms Larson explains.
She shares her lifestyle on Instagram, YouTube and Tik Tik, where she gathers. 11,000 followers. Some of her posts have received nearly 400,000 likes, though she says she’s not making any income from her content.
She uses the hashtags “hemmaflickvän” and “hemmafru” (Swedish for stay-at-home girlfriend and housewife) and describes herself as a “soft girl” – an identity she lives up to. Career takes on a softer, more feminine approach
The soft girl lifestyle has been a micro-trend on social media in various parts of the world since the late 2010s. But in Sweden – with Five decades of policies Designed to promote dual-income households behind it — the concept’s recent popularity has sparked both surprise and division.
Ungdomsbarometern – Sweden’s largest annual survey of young people – first highlighted Sweden’s adoption of the soft girl trend nationally a year ago, when it became a popular choice for 15- to 24-year-olds. People of age were asked. To predict trends For 2024.
Another study A release by Ungdomsbaromatern this August suggested that this is becoming a desire even among younger schoolgirls, with 14% of girls aged seven to 14 identifying as soft girls.
Wilma Larson“It’s about moving away from the ‘girl boss’ ideal that we’ve seen for so many years, where there are high demands for success in every aspect of life,” explains Johanna Gorensson, a researcher at Ungdomsbarometern.
There are no official figures on the number of young “soft girls” who are dropping out of work altogether and living away from their partners like Ms Larsen, and Ms Gorensen says it may be a small proportion. There is a possibility of
But it has nevertheless become a staple in Sweden, from opinion pieces in broadsheet newspapers to Almedalien – a huge annual cross-party political event – and panel discussions on Swedish public service television.
Gudrun Schyman – co-founder and former leader of the Swedish feminist party Feministiskt initiative – says she has participated in recent debates on the issue. She believes it is “very dangerous” for women to be deprived of their partners’ wealth, and “a step backwards” for gender equality.
Ms Schemmin argues that young Swedes have been influenced by the country’s right-wing coalition government, which cooperates with the nationalist Sweden Democrats party, as well as the “broader growth” of populism in Europe and the US.
She also thinks there is a lack of awareness of life in Sweden before adopting policies designed to promote gender equality, such as heavily subsidized childcare and shared parental leave. “Young women today don’t have the history of how women had to fight for their rights – the right to work, the right to pay, and the right to economic independence.”
Maddie SavageAt the other end of the political spectrum, the Sweden Democrats party has been positive towards the soft girl trend.
“I think people should decide their own lives,” says Denis Westerberg, national spokesman for the party’s youth wing. “And if you have the economic possibility to do so. [live off a partner] Then good for you.
“We still live in a country with all the career opportunities. We still have all the rights, but we have the right to choose to live more traditionally.”
Aside from ideological debates, debates have focused on the social and cultural factors that may influence young women to leave work – or at least to aspire to a softer lifestyle.
Sweden has a reputation for work-life balance – most employees get it. Six weeks vacation a year, And less than 1% work more than 50 hours a week.
Still, Ungdomsbaromatern’s research points to rising stress levels among young people, and Ms Göransson believes the soft girl trend may be an extension of recent global work trends such as “Leave Silent”which encourages employees not to overextend themselves.
Meanwhile, the Generation Z age group (those born between 1997 and 2012) are creating and being influenced by social media content that celebrates leisure time rather than career goals.
“If you look at the lifestyle content on social media today, work is not really that prominent,” explains Ms. Gorenson. “And if that’s a picture of what a typical young person’s life looks like, then of course, you’re not going to be that excited about spending eight hours a day in the office.”
But perhaps the biggest talking point is whether this trend is a response to the limitations of Sweden’s main gender equality policies.
Along with Slovenia, Sweden has. The highest ratio The number of working mothers in Europe, yet official statistics show that women in same-sex couples still contribute more to housework and childcare than men.
They also take 70% of state-funded parental leave, and are more likely to take sick leave due to stress. Meanwhile, although the income gap between men and women remains below the EU average of 12.7%, it has stagnated. about 10% From 2019
Ms. Larsen – who wants to have children in the future – says her decision to become a stay-at-home girlfriend is partly about seeing older women struggle to juggle careers and home lives.
“I think a lot of women feel burned out from their work,” she says. “And I just think about my mom and her mom, my grandma, and my sister, everybody. They’re always under a lot of pressure.”
At Sweden’s state-funded Gender Equality Agency, Peter Wikström, head of policy analysis and monitoring, also believes that the soft girl trend is a “reflection” on the “demands” experienced by young women. can be seen as a “rational response”.
Shoka Ehrmann, an economist at one of Sweden’s largest pension funds, SPP, says she doesn’t believe so many Swedish girlfriends or wives will leave work to affect the country’s economy.
However, she is working to raise awareness among Swedish women that leaving the labor force can affect their personal finances, from savings and pensions to salary levels if they return to work.
Ms Ahrman hopes that the current tender girls debate will serve as a wake-up call to both politicians and businesses that there is still work to be done to address the structural inequalities that persist in Sweden.
“I think the source of it, which is the mental health issues, the burnout and all that, is more troubling, because it’s not just affecting young girls today who are treated as soft girls,” she says. But I want to stay at home.”