Ohn Boxing Day, 2019Francesca found herself in it Worst possible environment: An over-the-top festive gathering with an equally large amount of festive food. It was the usual fare: roast potatoes, turkey crown, pig in a blanket. Plus all the leftover chocolate and confectionery which was not eaten the day before.
“A family friend made a casual comment like, ‘Well, time to hit the gym in the New Year!’ And it totally threw me off,” recalls the 37-year-old. Everyone else laughed it off, but for Francesca, who has suffered from anorexia and exercise addiction since the age of 19, it triggered a wave of guilt and self-doubt. “That comment made me consciously restrict my food. The next morning, I went for a run.
Christmas is synonymous with many things: tinsel, presents, drinks with the word “mulled” in the title. But it is also synonymous with food. The whole circus starts on November 1st, when we say goodbye to Halloween ad campaigns and hello to Christmas ones. These inevitably reflect variations on the same theme: families gathered around the dinner table, arguing over who gets to eat the last potato. Children sneak downstairs after midnight to scoff an extra mince pie; Friends are trying and failing to make a chocolate Yule log for a drinks party.
Any way you spin it, this time of year is intrinsically linked to overeating, which perpetuates a predictable mindset at the extremes. Everywhere you look, from the high street to billboards, the narrative goes something like this: “Oh come on, it’s Christmas! It’s time to indulge! You can start dieting in January!
The idea is that now is the season to throw caution to the wind and usher in the New Year to overeat with the intention of depriving yourself. It’s not the healthiest messaging for any of us – whatever happened to moderation? – but it’s especially dangerous for those struggling with eating disorders, for whom preparing for the festivities is a source of constant worry and fear.
I find myself struggling and fighting more in my head every day.
Lauren, 27, who struggled with disordered eating between the ages of 13 and 25
“Subconsciously, this time of year really affects me,” says Lorraine, 27, who struggled with disordered eating between the ages of 13 and 25. was a nightmare. It often revolves around alcohol and food, with many events such as work parties or nights out with friends, most of which focus on food and drink. I’m definitely a people pleaser, so I find it hard to say no, which makes these situations even more difficult.
Thankfully, Lauren has been doing much better since undergoing treatment at The Don Wellness Center and Rehab in Thailand. But Christmas still poses its challenges. “Recently, I followed a strict non-vegetarian diet and did boxing every morning for 30 days, completely in control,” she says. “Now that it’s over, I’ve found it hard to cope. I recently went to London to visit the Christmas markets, and I’ve planned nights out or meals with friends. . I love doing these things, but they can still be difficult and often start internal battles. I find myself struggling and fighting more in my head every day.”
The noise of banning versus indulging is one that is especially hard to shake during Christmas. “It’s also a time when routines go out the window, which is frustrating when you’re relying on them to manage an eating disorder,” Francesca adds. “For many of us, it’s less about the food itself and more about the constant mental gymnastics that goes with it.”
According to the leading charity Beat, in the UK, around 1.25 million people suffer from an eating disorder. Research shows that 46 percent of patients with anorexia recover completely, 33 percent improve, and 20 percent remain chronically ill. A similar study on bulimia suggests that 45 percent recover completely, 27 percent improve significantly, and 23 percent are chronically affected.
Aside from the obvious food-centric triggers that come with Christmas, there are other difficulties, especially if you’re underweight, meaning you feel the cold harder. “When I was at my worst, there were winters, including Christmas, when I wouldn’t leave the house for months because it wasn’t worth it,” Lauren says. “My whole body was constantly shaking. I remember one winter when my mom and dad had to put extra heaters and fires in my room because I couldn’t stay warm.
Then there’s all that extra family time; Around seven in 10 Britons spend Christmas with close relatives, According to YouGov. “Christmas can bring out all the difficult interpersonal and family dynamics that are often at the root of eating disorders,” says Rebecca Sparks, a UKCP-registered psychotherapist specializing in eating disorders and addiction. “Most sufferers will have grown up in families where emotional needs were not expressed. Eating disorders thrive in families where emotional expression is not modeled or encouraged.”
Junk food can also be exacerbated by inevitable comparisons to the “perfect” families we often see portrayed in Christmas movies and TV shows. “Emphasizing spending time with close family and expecting it to be a ‘happy’ time is extremely challenging,” adds Sparkes.
But not having family around presents its own challenges. For most people, work goes quiet this time of year. If you don’t have loved ones to spend time with, it may mean spending long periods of time alone. “Loneliness is a big motivator for people with eating disorders,” says Helen Wells, psychotherapist and clinical director at The Dawn. “While Christmas is seen as a time to come together, many people feel a deep sense of isolation, either because they feel that no one understands their struggles or because of strained family relationships. ”
It doesn’t help that people without eating disorders are often ill-equipped to help those struggling with them. “My immediate family is fantastic,” says. “They know what helps and what doesn’t — like sticking to regular meal times instead of eating a big 4pm lunch that throws everything off. They don’t talk about anything about dieting or body image. are also comment-free, which is a huge relief. Extended family or friends aren’t always as traceable. “They’ll say things like, ‘You look healthy!’ , or even make fun of how much someone eats is eating Those comments, even if they seem harmless, can be really triggering.”
Anorexia and bulimia are complex illnesses that many people misunderstand despite their best intentions, fostering a culture of shame that makes it difficult for sufferers to talk about it with those closest to them. It happens what they are going through. “A few years ago, I was caught going to the toilet straight after Christmas dinner, and the guilt and shame I felt was terrible,” recalls Lauren. “It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that my whole family is there, enjoying a nice Christmas meal that my mother spent hours cooking, while I spent the rest of the day eating guiltily. ”
When it comes to navigating it all, it’s hard to know where to start. But the best thing you can do is prepare in advance. “Schedule social arrangements and ideally plan food choices in advance,” says Dr Lorna Richards, a consultant psychiatrist based at Priory Hospital Woking. “Arrange to sit with someone you can trust to help you over the meal. Talk openly and honestly with loved ones so that you can all make Christmas a happy time together.” can
Schedule social arrangements and ideally plan food choices in advance.
Dr Lorna Richards, Consultant Psychiatrist based at Priory Hospital Woking
It is also important to distract yourself from eating as much as possible. “It could be putting up Christmas decorations, going to a concert or carol service, or taking a tour of somewhere special to you,” suggests Emma Jamieson, Beat’s helpline manager. “When you need support and encouragement from a loved one, such as drinking from a special cup, you can also agree on a sign to display carefully.”
As for routine, try to find it where you can. Dr. Richards advises that this includes spending time on your own or with someone close to you. “Remember that everyone finds some aspects of this time of year difficult, so go a little easier on yourself if you can. Despite some setbacks, it’s very likely that you’ll find some of your best during Christmas and New Years. will be able to enjoy the time.”
If you’re struggling to find support among those closest to you, it can help to reach out to others in a similar position. It’s what has worked for Lauren since she began her recovery process two years ago. “Every coping mechanism I use these days is from my days at Dawn because I was connecting with people who truly understood me,” she says. “Even now, if I’m struggling, I can still reach out to them. With Christmas coming up, I’m feeling it hard and lean on them for support. They’ve been an incredible help. ”
For anyone struggling with the issues raised in this article, the Eating Disorder Charity killThe helpline is available 365 days a year on 0808 801 0677. NCFED provides information, resources and counseling for people with eating disorders as well as their support networks. visit eating-disorders.org.uk Or call 0845 838 2040.