Dear Haya,
I am writing to understand how to ensure care and compassion for my mother who is currently experiencing menopause. Growing up, I have seen my mother very pleasant with people, she didn’t care much about what people would say or think. But ever since she started experiencing menopause symptoms, I have noticed changes in her behavior.
Now, she can be very emotional and sensitive about the most trivial matters. She gets irritated very easily when me and other members of my family talk about something which then turns into a heated argument with her. As her daughter, I understand the emotional and physical changes she is going through, but sometimes it is very difficult to calm her down.
Would you please help me understand how to best communicate with her as she is going through one of the most difficult phases of her life?
– An anxious daughter
Dear Concerned Daughter,
It’s heartwarming to see the concern you have for your mom and how you’re reaching out to understand how to help her through this stage of her life. This shows deep care and compassion on your part, and is already a strong foundation for her support.
Menopause brings many emotional, physical and mental changes, which can be difficult for both the person going through it and their loved ones. It’s more than just what you can see on the outside. Many internal changes are taking place which are not visible to the eye. It also represents the loss of youth, a change in identity, and adjusting to a new reality, which takes time to process.
Here are some things you can consider:
1. Educate yourself about menopause: Understanding what menopause means — its symptoms, both physical and emotional — can help you deepen your understanding of what it’s like to experience it. Hormonal changes can cause mood swings, irritability, and hypersensitivity. Knowing that these are natural, albeit difficult, aspects of menopause can help you approach its behavior with more patience.
2. Practice empathy, validation and communication: Practice empathy with her when you notice her irritation and otherwise (which you are already doing). Make room for it. Tell her that you notice the emotional and physical changes she is going through, her mood/behavior changes (irritability) and that it is difficult. Let him know you’re there for him and give him the reassurance he needs.
Maybe you can communicate by saying, “Mom, I know all the emotional and physical changes you’re going through, I know it’s hard and I want to let you know that I’m here for you. “Mom, I know and see all the emotional and physical changes you’re going through. To help you better?”
You can also educate her about what she’s going through and what to expect.
3. Avoid responding to triggers and topics that trigger her for a while: See what really bothers her and talk to her about those things during her transition process. Avoid talking. I would also suggest not talking to them when triggered, sometimes when someone is heated the best thing to do is to let it be, give them space and come back to it later.
4. Choose quieter moments to talk: Instead of broaching sensitive issues during or immediately after an argument, wait for a quieter moment when she’s more receptive.
5. Set boundaries respectfully: If a situation gets too heated, it’s okay to gently walk away. You can say, “I think we’re both feeling upset right now. Let’s take a break and talk about it later when we’re calmer.” Or you can create a boundary through your behavior by withdrawing from the environment and returning to it later. Avoiding unnecessary escalation shows respect for both her feelings and your own.
6. Encourage self-care: Menopause can be exhausting and self-care often falls by the wayside. You can gently encourage her to prioritize activities that help her relax or feel good about herself, such as yoga, walking, or chatting with friends, or going with or Starting an activity together.
7. Be patient with yourself: Helping someone who is going through a difficult time can be harmful. Remember, you’re human, and it’s okay to feel frustrated or overwhelmed. And remember, this is a change for you too. You are experiencing a new side of your mother, including grieving the old and coming to terms with a new reality. As you care for her, don’t forget to take care of your own emotional needs that will enable you to be a better support for your mother.
Good luck!
Hiya
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate wellness strategist and trainer specializing in creating organizational cultures that focus on wellness and mental health awareness. produce
Send him your questions. [email protected]
Note: The above suggestions and opinions are those of the author and are specific to the question. We strongly advise our readers to consult relevant experts or professionals for personal advice and solutions. The author and Geo.tv assume no responsibility for the consequences of actions taken based on the information provided herein. All published pieces are subject to editing to improve grammar and clarity.